2004-01-17 - 12:06 p.m.
Of course it's January in Saskatchewan, which means it is the Season of Moving Objects Sliding Uncontrollably. Thankfully Saskatchewan weather frequently ups the danger-ante and supplies things like rain during periods of freezing temperatures, or we mightn't live so permanently on the knife-edge between safety and disaster. Thanks, Saskatchewan.What moving object has slid uncontrollably of late? My car. It teamed up with ice from the freezing fucking rain yesterday to attempt to murder me. I was travelling under the speed limit, aware that the roads were awful, but still I slid and slid... and nearly slammed into a paratransit bus that I surely would have ended up beneath rather than pressed up against. (And, interestingly, it occurs to me too that if I were very lucky indeed, instead of ending up dead I'd perhaps just have been riding that bus later instead of driving my own car. Isn't life odd sometimes?) I hit a rough patch and stopped abruptly not much more than a foot away from the rear of the bus, where I sat for a few moments "enjoying" the sensation of my heart slamming out 200 bpm in my throat. Whee!
And objects have as much trouble starting moving as they do stopping. At every four-way stop the roads are buffed to a high gloss by the futile spin of tires. It's like being permanently stuck in one of those nightmares in which you need to run away from a pursuer but your legs don't work.
After telling my little near-death tale above, I thought, "do I talk frequently of Saskatchewan weather?"
I do, I do!
The time I forgot to close my kitchen window
That bit about the squeegee kids
And of course, today.
Only meteorologists and the elderly talk this much about the weather. I shall drop the subject at once.
Not to mention the Saskatchewan-weather references are all but lost on By Far My Site's Coolest Visitor. Know your audience, Craig. Sorry about that, Jennifer -- my mother probably tries her level best to explain them, but I assure you no verbal picture she paints manages to encapsulate the black hell of Aerial Hostility in Saskatchewan.
Before departing the subject of the local weather, however, I will point out the following anagram:
"Sask Weather" = "Earth's Askew"
Truer words were never blogged.
