2003-10-10 - 9:38 a.m.
On a whim, after quickly checking my email* this morning, I remembered the existence of the T-inator and other such translation websites. Bizarre toys these are; you toss them an URL for a web page and using an array of substitution rules they translate that page into a chosen dialect. As you might recall from my Multibabble entry, I'm quite fond of language games, so naturally I couldn't resist the urge to subject my own text to this unusual rearrangement. I fired up a couple of these sites, fed them my entry from yesterday, and I proudly display some of the results here, for the good of science. Naturally.The T-inator "pitied" my page to rather bizarre effect -- throughout the text were icons of Mr. T and links to sound bites from The A Team, as well as my own mangled text. Some of it was amusing, and some of it was merely the insertion of "crazy" and "fool!" here and there in what was otherwise my original blatherings anyway. But the glorious gem T-inating my site yielded was this: "what's that he said?" at left became "what's that darn helluva fool jibba jabba'd?" I was tempted... very tempted... to fire up the editor and make this T-suggested revision. I still might.
Next, on to the Dialectizer, a site that lets you perform the same translation wizardry but with the added options of dialects such as Redneck, Cockney, etc. I chose Cockney, and the results were amusing enough to warrant lengthy quotation here:
'Seriously. What is so compelling about this song? Is it the "BAH! BAH! BAH!" of the horns? ... and I'm sure ol' Neil would be proud.'
became
'Straight up. Woss so compellin' about this song, eh? Is it the "BAH! Struth! BAH! Blimey! BAH! Oi!" of the bloomin' horns, isit? I fink that's it. I'll get out me spoons. Goddess and 'er mate like ter pantomimetically fump 'ips wiv one anuvver each time that bit comes up, right, shoutin' "BUM! Blimey! BUM! Blimey! BUM! Struth!" -- and I'm bloody well sure ol' Neil would be proud.'
This is the joy of language games: scenarios presented by new arrangements often create intriguing mental pictures, reformulating your way of looking at something, and usually inspiring chuckles and titters to boot. The thought of Diamond's horns triumphantly blaring "BAH! Struth! BAH! Blimey! BAH! Oi!" is just such a reformulation, and I assure you I chuckled.
And here's another:
'I spoke to my mother on the phone a while earlier this evening ... You win a prize!'
became
'I spoke ter my muvver on the bleedin' dog and bone a wile earlier this evenin', and she mentioned 'er fondness for putting the mockers on by me corner of the chuffin' Wired World ter read wotever new drivel I 'ave posted each day. She 'as a theory for explainin' sumfink about visitors ter my site that 'as always vexed and intrigued me. I'll get out me spoons. I've always luvd the fact that some bloke from Ohio prefers bringing up me page by searchin' "Craig Melhoff" on dogpile.com ravver than followin' a bookmark. I fink I've always liked this because it reminds me of some of the many roundabout fings I do at me French Tutor. Turns out me muvver is pretty sure this is... get ready for a new addition ter the roster of Mirabile Visu nicknames (this one suggested by me muvver)... Redheaded-Jennifer. 'iya, Redheaded-Jennifer -- yer'll be proud ter know that, as a result of yor unique meffod of findin' me site, yer 'ave the bleedin' honoured distinction of bein' "By Far Me Site's Coolest Visitor, Because the bloomin' Coolest Visitor Would 'ave ter Be At Least As Odd As Me Site's Creator, right, Me." Yer win a prize! Honest guv!'
"French Tutor" for computer? Genius!
* I indulgently reply to all here: 1) thanks ma; glad Redheaded-Jennifer liked her mention here, and 2) it should be obvious why I didn't codename you "Hot Momma" -- not only the myriad reasons why it would actually have been a bit disturbing if this nickname had popped to mind, but also the fact that I get enough porn searches as it is and it's probably imprudent to discuss "Hot Mommas" on one's website anyway. Oh, and 3) hey Zardoz, yep. How's that for self-indulgent use of a web page?
