2003-09-21 - 6:31 p.m.
Everyone's talking about that crazy million-dollar keyboard Amazon's selling. I love it -- it's clearly an error, but it's been that way for days, presumably because either the powers that be at Amazon have a keen sense of humour, or because their proofreaders have the month of September off, or, well, perhaps even because it's not an error and the damn thing really is selling for a cool mil. Thankfully as of this writing the used models come at the considerably reduced price of as low as $14.78, a positively auto-industry-ish sort of depreciation that represents the pound-of-flesh price paid for being on the cutting edge of typing technologies.The best thing about this million-dollar keyboard, though, is unquestionably the fact that it so effectively brings out the smart-ass in us all. The reviews and comments posted to the page are all wildly sarcastic, composed in a grand effort to play along with the absurdity of the product's list price using an equally absurd and outlandish but ever straight-faced testimonial routine.
An exuberant "electronics fan" from San Diego lauds the Key Tronics product, which he assures us cures cancer, summons Jesus, changes your oil, cooks for you, and even potty-trains your family. Another recent poster declares that "from the high-quality polycarbonate material to the hand-painted letters, this keyboard shines as a meticulously crafted piece of engineering," though it's sadly "a bit tough on the budget." And arguably the most audacious by far is a fellow posting from "Keyboardstown, Guyana," who assures us that the pricey keyboard "has firmly established the existence of a benevolent God (Itself)," that it is "on the rise and will soon bring about an age of bloodshed and war that will necessarily result in a utopia centered on the worship and ideals of said Keyboard," and that "universal harmony shall reign supreme and virtue will be the absolute norm." All this, and an L-shaped Enter key to boot.
I've been checking out the comments on this page on and off for a couple of days, and not once have I seen someone disrupt the vibe of poker-faced silliness and post a message complaining that Amazon has misquoted the price or that there's anything amiss at all. Never mind any actual interest in purchasing the item displayed: visitors are too keen on the delight of sustaining the joke. They think of ever more inventive contexts to apply, features and super-powers to attribute, and budget-complaints to offer, and the first to ignore the joke will ruin it all.
I love it. This is what the web is all about: the dissemination of both idiocy and snotnosed sarcasm, the yin and yang of it all.
"Wow, I've been looking for one of these for years. It's hard to get time machine keyborads anymore. This one even comes with the flux capacator built in!! Thanks Key Tronic! World domination, here I come!!"
"If I'm going to spend a million dollars for a keyboard, I expect it to at least be ergonomically designed. If I had to do it over again, I wouldn't pay more than $750,000 for this piece of junk."
